


Cogito Ergo Sum

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-24
Updated: 2004-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-01 09:33:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark gets a new superpower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cogito Ergo Sum

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank Michael for beta reading. You rock! 

## Cogito Ergo Sum

by Oh

<http://www.journalfen.net/users/slash_spam/>

* * *

Title: Cogito Ergo Sum  
Author: Oh  
Pairing: Clark/Lex pre-slash (implied)  
Warnings: pointless humor  
Spoilers: up to "Whisper"  
Summary: Clark gets a new superpower  
Feedback: slash_spam@yahoo.com  
Author's Archive: Sure 

* * *

Cogito Ergo Sum 

by Oh 

* * *

Clark stood in front of his mirror and slipped his new glasses on for the first time. All of a sudden the world seemed to be a brighter...clearer space than it ever was before. Suddenly an excruciating pain hit him, bringing him to his knees. He could feel _something_ happen in his head. Then he blacked out. 

When he woke up again, he saw the worried faces of his parents looming above him. Jonathon was the first one to speak. 

"Who are you?" holding up his rifle. "And what are you doing in my barn?" 

Clark sat up, and Jonathon shot him. 

"Ow" Clark said. "What did you do that for?" Taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes, Clark stared angrily at his father, when all of a sudden Martha screamed out. 

"Clark, it's you! We almost didn't recognize you." 

Clark stood up, ignoring the aching pain in his head. A whirlwind of images hit him, almost making him fall back down. 

"Dad? Why did you shoot me? I was obviously no danger to you. Lying there on the _floor_. Unconscious. Maybe moving a little bit, but...shooting? Don't you think that is a bit of an overreaction?" 

"I was only trying to protect my family! Plus, it is my constitutional right as an american citizen to carry a gun for self protection. It is an honoroble thing my son." 

Martha smiled at her husband. Then she smiled at Clark. Then she smiled at the barn wall understandingly. Life was good and simple. 

The pain in Clark's head got worse. 

"Dad! I mean whatever you are saying is full of pathos but...but...it doesn't make any _sense_." 

"I am still your father, son! As long as you live in my house, you _will_ do as I say!" 

Clark raised an eyebrow at his mother. 

Martha smiled and stroked his hair. Nodding at him. 

"Clark, you really should spend more time with Lana. She is such a nice person." 

Jonathon interrupted her. "And, while you're at it. Stay away from that Luthor. He can't be trusted. All Luthors are evil. Don't you remember our neighbour Mr...something...and how he got robbed of his farm. And...Annabelle. Your cow. You know the one you had since you were a little boy. And how Lex killed her in cold blood?" 

"But Dad. You're still not making any sense. At all. And..Lana? The Cheerleader? The girl who asked me to stay away because she felt it was my fault she got trampled by a horse and than graciously forgave me for not being around. Yeah, such a _nice_ girl." 

Then the pain overwhelmed him and he passed out. 

**TBC**

Please join us again when Clark learns to use his new superpower - the _brain_ and realizes his father sucks. And learns form Lex that _sucking_ doesn't have to be a bad thing. 

The next episode of Smallville: "Coitus Ergo Sum." 


End file.
